A Love Letter From Your Friendly Recruiter (and One Stubborn Donkey)
We love working with you. Truly. But sometimes, partnering on a search feels less like teamwork and more like trying to put a bridle on a zebra, mid-gallop, while someone insists it’s just “a stripy horse.”
We know you want a great hire. So do we! But without clarity, communication, and some mutual horse sense, the whole process starts to buck.
Here’s what it’s like from our side of the pasture:
1. The Mystery Role (a.k.a. “Just Find a Unicorn”)
What We Get: A job description written sometime in the Mesozoic Era, paired with a casual “just find someone amazing. ”Bonus points if you say “like our last person, but better.”
What It Feels Like: “Find a unicorn who works like a Clydesdale, fits in the budget of a donkey, and is available immediately.”
The Fix: Be clear about the must-haves. Help us understand if you’re looking for a racehorse, a trail buddy, a donkey or someone who can pull the wagon uphill in a storm.
2. The Great Vanishing Act
We Send: Excited, qualified candidates.
You Give: Two weeks of radio silence and then a mysterious, “Not quite right.”
Meanwhile: We’re over here staring into the recruitment void like a confused donkey who thought it was time for oats.
The Fix: Feedback. A quick Slack. A thumbs up or down. Literally any signal you’re alive.
3. Timeline Fun
You Say: “We need to hire fast.”
Also You: “I’m out next week… and then heads-down till the quarter ends.”
Us: Trying to schedule interviews while the best candidates bolt for the next opportunity.
Reality: The talent’s interest is galloping off into the sunset… while we’re still “circling back next week.”
4. “Let’s See More Candidates…”
What We Hear: “I’m afraid to commit.”
What It Feels Like: You met three stellar prospects but are still circling the pasture hoping a mythical creature gallops by.
Truth: You’re not curating a petting zoo. You’re building a team. The right one is probably already in front of you.
5. Culture “Fit” That’s Undefined
You Say: “They’ve got to fit our vibe and culture.”
We Say: Cool ~ what does that vibe look like?
You Say: “You know… just someone who gets it.”
We Say: Now the donkey is confused.
Let’s Fix It: Culture fit shouldn’t mean “same as us.” Let’s define what success really looks like ~ so we find someone who strengthens the herd.
Final Word (and a Scratch Behind the Ears)
We are your talent partners, not résumé wranglers or donkey trainers (though we’ve been known to pull off both).
We want the best for your team. But we need clear roles, real feedback, and shared urgency. Trust us to help you ride toward the right hire ~ not just trot in circles.
And remember: if you keep asking for a zebra but describe a donkey, don’t be surprised when the interviews go sideways.
With love, strategy, and slightly muddy boots, Your Favorite Recruiter (Still here, still smiling, and still hoping you call back before the good ones gallop off)